sex-negative.

in the united states we have a largely unquestioned assumption that sex is bad, "dirty." it is largely taken for granted that teenagers who have sex will be negatively affected by it. (see: "abstinence", meaning self-restraint or self-denial, a word used both for sex and for drugs) this is both ridiculous and true. (like most things human there is a messiness and a tendency towards contradiction which logic can't really successfully reconcile)

it is ridiculous because genetically, evolutionarily speaking, when children hit puberty their bodies are preparing themselves to reproduce so in fact, sexual exploration is completely natural and probably necessary at that age. people refer to sexual desire as "need" and "hunger" for a reason: we do need it

nevertheless, teens are affected negatively, all across the country. BUT i will contend that the problem is not the sex itself (as commentators and researchers and religious extremists all tout); it's the attitudes we hold about sex that are so damaging. the simple fact is that we do not give adolescents the resources to understand and respect what is happening to them as they grow up. i, for instance, had very little awareness/understanding of it; it just kinda happened and I dealt with it as best i could. furthermore, because of the stigma against sex, i did not feel comfortable talking about sex in a candid way with anyone, neither adults nor peers.

so what we have is children reaching puberty in a wildly over-sexualized culture where everywhere you turn you are bombarded with sexual imagery but without any safe forum or way for them to learn about it free of pejoration or stigma against it. no shit kids don't know what to do with themselves; no shit they throw themselves into hook-ups and violent relationships. they don't know any better because adults DON'T TEACH THEM.

we live in a sex-negative society and the problem is NOT sex. the problem is cultural.